Don’t Get Spooked by Ghosting This Halloween
On a neon-lit Gulch patio, your phone stops buzzing, and you ask yourself if you are being ghosted. And of course, you are not talking about the Halloween spooky costume kind, but a slightly scarier kind of ghosting. In dating, this means someone you’ve connected with suddenly stops communicating without explanation. It stings, but for singles in Nashville, it’s common — and it doesn’t define your worth.
What Ghosting Is (and What It’s Not)
It’s not: When someone you sent one message to hasn’t responded yet. That’s just a lack of connection or timing, not ghosting. Don’t take it personally. It just means the other person isn’t in the same space as you right now. It could even mean that they don’t check their DM’s often.
It is: When someone you’ve been talking to or have gone on dates with suddenly disappears without a word. That can feel tougher, but remember — their lack of communication speaks about them. Someone who can’t express themselves clearly isn’t the right partner for a healthy, lasting relationship.
Phrases You Can Use Instead of Silence and What to think if you are the recipient...
Samantha sat on her cozy couch, staring at her phone with furrowed brows. Taking a deep breath, she typed out a message to someone she had been dating for a few weeks, then deleted it, then typed again a few times. Honesty and kindness go further than vanishing, she reminded herself, but couldn’t find the words. Here are a few simple lines for turning down someone respectfully if you find yourself in her situation:
“I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t feel the connection I’m looking for.”
“Thank you for our time together, but I think we’re not the right match.”
“I wish you the best, but I don’t see this moving forward.”
These phrases keep your dating energy clear and positive — a key strategy for singles navigating Nashville’s dating scene.
If you are the recipient of those phrases, please know that it took effort for the other person to communicate honestly and that most people do not want to hurt anyone; they just want to be honest about their feelings. They might be missing out or not giving it enough time to get to know you more, but they are releasing you to find your person.
The Graceful “Last Attempt”
Sometimes silence doesn’t mean disinterest; it could be that the other person wasn’t sure of your intentions. One thoughtful follow-up can show your interest while maintaining dignity.
Consider using Gottman's 'gentle start-up' approach to shape these follow-ups by expressing your feelings and needs. For example, try: 'I enjoyed our date and feel curious; I need clarity—could we chat once more?' This keeps the communication warm and clear. Here are playful, Halloween-themed options:
"Hey, I don’t want to be haunted by ‘what if’ — want to connect one more time?"
"Before the ghosts of missed connections take over, thought I’d reach out again 🙂"
"I promise I’m not a ghost 👻 — would love one last chance to connect!"
"Not sure if our wires got crossed… one last spell to see if we click?"
"Before the full moon disappears, I wanted to check in — want to catch up one last time?"
If they don’t respond after that, you’ve done your part. Furthermore, don’t look for closure outside; give yourself the closure you need.
How to Stay Positive
Ghosting isn't a reflection of your value or worth. It doesn't mean you're unworthy of love. Instead, view it as a redirection, an indication that the person was not ready or able to communicate effectively. Here's where your journey takes a pivotal turn: take ghosting as a filter, not a failure. Embrace the potential for positive change, knowing that the right person will come along who is aligned and communicative, affirming your inherent value regardless of any outcome.
For singles seeking support in navigating the dating world, whether it’s handling ghosting, building confidence, or finding intentional connections, our Daters Society and 1:1 Dating Mentoring programs in Nashville provide expert guidance, actionable tips, and personalized matchmaking strategies.
Remember: this Halloween, don’t let ghosting haunt you. Instead, see it as an opportunity to make space for the real, intentional love you deserve.